It's a beautiful world

I stuff my whole world into a backpack, and leave a lot of room in it to gather more of the world that's never been mine, but magically becomes mine the moment I set my feet on the land.

You know the stereotypical backpacker, the lone traveler.. the one you see in travel channels? I could never really identify with them. Yet, I've always had that itch for travel. To travel alone. It sounded exciting to me.

And then reality kicks in. If you don't think of it, people remind you of it. The constraints, that is. It starts off with A) You are a woman. B) You are so small and how fit are you physically anyway? C) It's a big bad world out there. D) Do you have any clue how much it costs?

Then of course, there are the practical constraints. Budgets, Information, Research about places, Travel itineraries, Hotel reviews, Reservations, Best deals, Best routes, Bookings, Preparedness for exigencies, Backups, Contingency plans. Stuff your travel channels don't tell you about. If they were to tell you about all this, you wouldn't be tuning into their show to unwind when you are back from work, do you? And there's also this sheer frustration and despair that really hits you on your face during the planning phase.

But as I am out crossing country borders, meeting interesting people, buying my breakfast with one currency and dinner with another, missing trains, silently thanking my back-up plans, making choices every 5 minutes, avoiding trouble, finding fun, questioning the soundness of some of the choices I make on my way and thanking my lucky stars for some others, I realize travel is not just about the places I go to, or the views I see, or even those amazing people I meet. These, unfortunately are the only part of my travel that I can share with others through pictures or stories.

The real fun is in the way I feel when I set out with a map and the very basic things I need (along with the very important things I need in a foreign country)..
The sweet anxiety when I set my feet in a new country unsure of what to expect in spite of all the research..
The way these places make me feel at home..
The way my mind quickly analyses situations and prepares my reflexes..
The 8 hours long walk-sprint-trek routines on most days..
The way I connect with different people..
The goodness of the world that is never acknowledged enough..

Most importantly, the kick I get out of just being alive. It thrills me and humbles me at the same time. And I feel grateful for being a small part of this amazing world. A small block in a huge jigsaw puzzle.

Hearts of Stone

Some days back I met a girl here. A beautiful person. She has that kind of an aura around her. Her smile reaches her eyes and you can see her pure soul through them.

Just the other day, we were walking through the corridors of the university, and she froze midway. Tears welling up her beautiful eyes. Her face, a cruel shade of red. 

Her ex-boyfriend just walked past her. No acknowledgement. No reasons given. As if she is invisible.

'I can't believe he can just ignore me like I don't exist', she says. 'I can't believe that he is too busy to even have a conversation with me. I wonder what makes him leave me like that. I want to be the one who doesn't care. I want to be the one who walks away like it doesn't matter. But I'm so hurt to be able to do that. And he walks away like nothing happened at all, and I never existed.'

As she fights her tears at the crowded campus cafe, I tell her it's okay.. It happens.. It will be alright.

But you know what, it's NOT okay. It SHOULDN'T BE happening, and it's NOT GOING TO BE alright. It is so NOT DONE.

Why do some of our hearts melt like wax and others' stay as hard as stone? So friggin' unfair.

new people, new countries, new perspectives..

I wonder how over-rated the whole Eurotrip thingie is.. The travel part makes sense to me, so does experiencing new cultures, getting to know new people and their cuisines. But what I am totally not in favor of, is this whole 'covering' places business. No one talks about experiencing a place anymore. The only thing that seems to matter is the picture perfect backgrounds on their FB profiles. That's sad.

I've got just a couple of weeks more for my Easter holidays and I'm looking forward to some serious travelling.. not covering. I'm still unclear about the specifics and it's worrying the attention-to-detail control freak in me.

In other news, I made some awesome friends, and I'm amazed at the way they think, the way they understand life and the world, their dreams, hopes and plans for future. They are barely 20 and from countries I've only heard of. This, is what I call an enriching experience.

Also, the coolest Indian I have met here invited me over for a home cooked dinner, which turned out to be a feast! God bless the soul. Someone youtubes to make me the Kerala parotta. Touched.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

It's been snowing non stop since last night. I've left the blinds open and the bright white light outside floods the room. I still miss the Sun, though. And the flurries are so mean, I soo don't want to step out. It's almost 12 in the noon and I better get going if I don't want to miss the lecture at the University.

And right then, as I always do when I have to do something important, I log in to FB to see what?
Peeps back at IIT-M sharing pictures of the very same places in the campus which I always took for granted. Oh how I wish right now to step out of my room into the broad sunlight and walk right into the Mess for lunch. I miss the Sun, the lush green trees, those Banyan roots, running into friends all the time, the chicken at the night canteen, and the chat and ginger lemon juice at Gurunath.

I soooo miss my IIT-M life.
And the worst part is, I'm never going to get it back.
The sad part is, I never realized I would miss that part of my life so much.
The good part is, I always find better places, better people, better experiences and more fun all the time. *Touchwood!

Here's to Europe!

yet another tunnel..

and no light in sight...
who makes them, effing tunnels anyways..

too much drama to handle.
feeling alone, lost, clueless and shit scared..  again.
will this madness ever end?